Monday, December 31, 2007

JBL's Smackdown Annoucing Replacement Is.... is reporting that Jonathan Coachman has been tapped to replace John Bradshaw Layfield as the Friday Night SmackDown! color commentator.

The switch was revealed at Sunday night's WWE event, which features the taping of the first ECW and SmackDown! episodes of the new year.

JBL departed the announce booth in order to return to the ring as an active RAW brand Superstar. Michael Cole will continue his long-running role as SmackDown's play-by-play man.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Is Torrie Wilson's career as a WWE Diva almost over?

Torrie Wilson has posted an update on her back issues in her latest blog.

Wilson writes, "On the health front, my back problems don't seem to be getting any better and I am actually starting to feel worse believe it or not! It's gotten to the point that I can barely stand up in the morning. I've never really been hurt before so this is really REALLY annoying to me. I can't stand feeling frail and just want to go back to my active lifestyle. I am looking into another type of treatment right now that looks promising so let's hope this problem goes away soon. Please pray for me! I have actually been out of the action in the wrestling ring for quite some time and am really starting to miss it."

This is interesting, as Torrie has been with the company for just about longer than any of the other current divas. She's been involved in Pro-Wrestling for even longer, as part of WCW. I'd hate to see her out of the action due to back problems, but then I never thought she had a place actually WRESTLING in the first place. She was always best as a valet, or involved in some kind of angle backstage. She never should've been wrestling to begin with... but o'well. Hopefully she'll bounce BACK. ;)

Heat and RAW Spoilers for 12/31/07

RAW and Heat Spoilers

Dark Match:

Brian Kendrick vs "The Natural" Nick Nameth w/ ???
Nick come out with some muscular dude that I did not reckonize and I couldnt catch his name. Brian Kendrick wins with a Small Package. Im still wondering who Paul London pissed off, he hasnt been seen on TV in a long while.

Heat Matches:

Snisky vs Super Crazy
Snisky wins with a pumphandle slam, typical jobber match.

D.H. Smith vs Jobber
D.H. Smith wins with a Back Suplex.

Charlie Haas vs Drew McEntyre
Drew wins with a Northern Lights Suplex. Charlie Haas has a new gimmick where he goes under the ring and puts on a luchadore mask for some reason.

No Opening Pyro
RAW starts off with Randy Orton in the ring talking about how 2007 is the best year of his career and how 2008 will be even better. Jeff Hardy comes out to shut him up and cuts a pretty decent promo. Orton tries to give Jeff an RKO but Jeff reverses it into a Twist of Fate.

Backstage Segment
Matt and Jeff Hardy talking about how Jeff is going to win at the Rumble and when he does he will give Matt the first title match.

Kennedy vs HBK
Kennedy wins after he reverses the Superkick into a Complete Shot, or as I like to call it, the Kenplete Shot.

Backstage Segment
Vince makes a match for later, Regal vs Hornswoggle.

Umaga vs Hacksaw - Royal Rumble Qualifier
Umaga win in 2 mintues after the Samoan Spike

Backstage Segment
HHH is interviewed by Todd Grisham, Vince interupts and says if HHH loses in any way, he will not be in the Royal Rumble match.

JBL Returns
He comes to the ring and three HUGE sets of pryo goes off after he gets into the ring. He cuts a promo on how he is better and richer than everyone, Jericho interrupts and they have a good old fashioned brawl.

Mickie James vs Melina vs Beth Phoenix - Womens Title Match
Beth retains after giving Melina the Fishermans suplex.

Jeff Hardy vs Santino Marella w/ Maria and Carlito
Match ends in a No Contest after Randy Orton comes on the Titantron from backstage, he shows Jeff that he has beaten up Matt, and then gives Matt the concussion kick.

Backstage Segment
Jeff rushes to his brother side, and Orton has run from sight.

Hornswoggle vs William Regal
The match ends in a no contest after Vince hands Regal his brass knucks, but he cant hit Hornswoggle. Vince barraids Regal in the ring and Regal just walks away.

Backstage Segment
HHH and Flair have a discussion about their upcoming match.

HHH vs Ric Flair
Ric Flair wins via DQ after Regal comes down and punches Flair after HHH pedigrees the Nature Boy.

Biggest Pops
1. Ric Flair
2. Jeff Hardy
3. Chris Jericho

Biggest Heat
1. JBL
2. Randy Orton
3. HHH (While Attacking Flair in their match)

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Breaking News: WWE Superstar INURED at RAW Taping!

The following comes from

Former World Tag Team Champion Lance Cade was injured after separating his left shoulder at a live event in Atlanta on Friday night.

According to athletic trainer Chris Brennan, the severity of Cade’s injury cannot be determined until he undergoes an orthopedic evaluation.

“Lance could be out of action for four to six weeks,” Brennan told “Of course, those numbers could change depending on the orthopedic evaluation.” will update this situation as more information becomes available.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Photos of Nancy Benoit in the NUDE to appear in Hustler Magazine.

Several Wrestling Rumor sites are reporting that the upcoming issue of Hustler magazine (March 2008) has a two page spread of nude photos of the late Nancy Benoit (seen left). Apparently these images are from when she was married to Jim Daus. Apparently she was touring doing bikini and wet t-shirt competitions in Florida when one of the hosts told her she should be in Penthouse. He set up a photo shoot for her and then videotaped the photo shoot. Nancy never submitted the photos and later had them destroyed but either never knew about or got the video which is now in the possession of Hustler.

**Update: The topless pics can now be seen at: Nancy Benoit Nude Hustler Photos

WWE Diva Maria poses in Playboy!

Take this for what it's worth, but rumor around the net right now is that WWE Diva Maria Kanellis has posed for Playboy today. Whether or not the rumor is true, or even if she posed nude is still up in the air. Stay tuned to Ultra Wrestling Roundup for the late breaking details.

Check out the Divas of WWE Monday Night Raw at!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Stone Cold Changes Name

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin is following in the footsteps of Ultimate Warror and Chyna as he has legally changed his real name to his wrestling name. "Stone Cold" has legally changed his name from Steve Williams to Steve Austin.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

DarkDefender85's Best of 2007

Best commentator/announcer of 2007 - J.R. - There is a reason he is the gold stardard of professional wrestling commentary.

Best PPV of 2007 - Wrestlemania 23 - Its the only WWE PPV I buy every year.

Best weekly wrestling television show of 2007 - RAW - RAW is the gold standard of TV shows and has been for 15 years.

Most improved wrestler of 2007 - Matt Hardy - I may be a Hardy mark, but Matt has shown this year that he is more than just "The Other Hardy" in his fued with MVP.

Best tag-team of 2007 - The Hardys - They showed that they are the best tag team of this and any other recent generation, adding another tag title riegn to their record.

Worst/Most hated wrestler of 2007 - Kurt Angle - He is the biggest piece of crap in wrestling as has proven it with his Nazi like tactics backstage in TNA.

Best wrestling promotion of 2007 - WWE - Its the WWE...duh

Worst wrestling promotion of 2007 - TNA - It has gonna from competition for WWE to the next company Vince is going to buy.

Match of the year 2007 - John Cena vs HBK from RAW - It was a one hour showcase of what professional wrestling should be.

Feud of the year 2007 - Matt Hardy vs MVP - I cant wait for Matt to come back from injury to restart this feud.

Best overall wrestler of 2007 - HBK - He showed me this year that there is a reason he is still called The Icon.

Diva of the Year - Beth Phoenix - She took out Candice Michelle, I wish I could thank her for that.

Shocker of the Year - The Benoit Tragedy - No one EVER saw that coming.

Comeback of the Year - Chris Jericho - Only he can Save Us from boring promos and tedious matches.

Rookie of the Year - Santino Marrella - He may have been useless as a face, but as a heel he has found his niche in the WWE, expect big things from him in 2008.

Breakout Star in 2008 - Jeff Hardy - In 2008, I believe that Jeff Hardy will be the one man who will break through and show everyone that he can be a main eventer. I also expect him to get the WWE Title around his waist by late 2008.

Major Brothers Update

- The Major brothers, now aligning themselves with Edge have had a gimmick change and are now known as Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins. Collectively they will be the "Edge Heads," a pair of crazy Edge fans.

FYI, The Major Brothers "Real Names" are not their real names. Its like when Johnny Nitro became John Morrison.

DarkDefender85's Top 25

  1. Edge - The Rated R Superstar climbs to the top after beating Batista and The Undertaker.
  2. Jeff Hardy - The Swantoning Superstar is on the roll of his life after beating HHH and Randy Orton.
  3. HBK - The Showstopper stopped Mr. Kennedy with Sweet Chin Music.
  4. Batista - After losing the World Title and losing again on Smackdown, it looks like the Animal has been put to sleep.
  5. CM Punk - A Dq win over MVP and a 6 man tag win help Punk this week.
  6. Rey Mysterio - A countout win over MVP helps the 619er.
  7. Randy Orton - The WWE Champion is coming up sweet with a loss to Chris Jericho and getting pinned by Jeff Hardy.
  8. HHH - The Game seems to be on pause, making fun of Vince McMahon isnt going to help HHH.
  9. Finlay - A Win over The Great Khali skyrockets Finlay in the Top 25.
  10. The Undertaker - He didnt get pinned at Armageddon but didnt win the gold.
  11. Big Daddy V - Pinning the ECW Champion helps ECWs Monster.
  12. MVP - The US Champion isnt acting like a champion these days.
  13. Ric Flair - The Nature Boy will not go quiet into that good night.
  14. Chris Jericho - A war of words with JBL and a DQ win over Orton help Jericho.
  15. Mr. Kennedy - In impressive match with HBK help Kennedy.
  16. Rhodes and Holly - The new tag champion keep the gold after beating Cade and Murdoch.
  17. Shelton Benjamin - The new gold standard of ECW keeps on winning.
  18. Carlito and Santino - The new tag team get a win over London and Kendrick.
  19. Miz and Morrison - The WWE Tag Champion tasted defeat on ECW.
  20. Umaga - The Samoan Bulldozer plowed through a barricade but lost to Ric Flair.
  21. Mark Henry - The World Strongest Man got a win with Big Daddy V by his side.
  22. Moore Wang - Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang proved to be a lethal combo with a win over the WWE Tag Team Champions.
  23. Ryder and Hawkings - The Former Major Brothers helped Edge win and keep the World Title this week.
  24. Jesse and Festus - The Odd Pair get a win after Festus beat Domino.
  25. The Great Khali - The Giant got toppled by a Fighting Irishman

Monday, December 17, 2007

WWE Armageddon: Afterthoughts

Last night, WWE Armageddon went down live from Pittsburgh, PA (where earlier in the day my Jaguars stomped all over the Steelers), and the night saw several impressive performances, and even a couple shockers.

The first match of the night would see MVP facing off against Rey Mysterio with the US title on the line. MVP would manage to squeak by, losing by way of count out, but keeping his title in the process.

Afterthought: Where do they go from here? MVP is established as a tweener, but this is his latest in many lackluster feuds. It's time to get the US strap off of him, and get him involved in something mainevent status. I think he could pull it off.

Match numero dos came to use from the ECW front, as CM Punk and Kane squared off against Big Daddy V and Mark Henry. As to be expected, V and Henry put the squash on, with BDV pinning Punk.

Afterthought: Lame. Punk didn't belong in this "feud" to begin with. ECW in itself is really an afterthought. I can't even tell you the last time I watched it. Which channel is Sci-Fi?

The third match of the night had all the makings to be an instant classic, and really in my opinion should have been saved for closer to Wrestlemania - because it featured my two favorite RAW superstars, Mr. Kennedy and Shawn Michaels going one on one. Unfortunately for Mr. K, Shaw Michaels never fails to impress, as he landed some SCM for the win.

Afterthought: Definitely an instant classic. Too bad it was on an Armageddon.

Match four was for a WWE title shot at the Royal Rumble, and it saw former allies Triple H and Jeff Hardy squaring off. Surprising to me and everyone else, Jeff Hardy pulled out the win, with a quick flip over pin. states that HHH isn't to happy, and could be looking for revenge tonight.

Afterthought: I don't expect to see Jeff Hardy facing anyone for the WWE Championship at the Rumble. I Do expect to see Triple H somehow win that shot away from him. Who knows where this one is going?

Up next was The Great Khali versus Finlay, and in Fin's corner - Hornswoggle! Believe it or not, after a lowblow from Hornswoggle, Finlay nails Khali with a second shillelagh and gets the pin!

Afterthough: Whaaaaaa. This was a take a piss match.

Next, Chris Jericho finally returned, and in doing so he claimed a shot at Randy Orton's WWE title. He didn't win a shot, he just came back and said he was taking one. I guess that's good enough? Anyways, just when it looked like Jericho had the match in the bag, with Orton locked in the Walls of Jericho, JBL came out of nowhere and delivered a vicious kick right to the side of Jericho's head! The referee calls for the bell and Jericho is awarded the DQ victory, but what the hell?

Afterthought: WHAT THE FUCK?! Where did JBL come from, and WHY?! Rumors are he attacks Jericho again on the Christmas in Iraq special, which airs on Christmas Eve. Man oh man, now there's a feud I wouldn't mind seeing. Guess Jericho is going to Smackdown? They need him!

Women's title match. Who gives a shit. The big blonde bitch beats the lesbian bitch, retains her title.

Afterthought: Mickie James has massive labia.

MAINEVENT: Triple Threat match for the World Heavyweight Title. Edge vs Undertaker vs Batista. In the second big "shocker" of the night, Edge came away with his second World Title win, after using two DECOY EDGES (the Major Brothers) to distract Undertaker and Batista! Surprising, I know.

Afterthought: Holy Shit Three Edges?! I guess it's better than Batista as champ - cuz he sucks.

Well that's it, another WWE pay per view in the bag. Almost time for the Road to Wrestlemania to begin, and you can expect all the late-breaking news leading up to the big night right here at Ultra Wrestling Roundup!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

CM Punk is a fuckass.

I never ever understood what the big deal was about CM Punk. The matches of his I have seen were boring as shit, he does nothing new or thrilling. And hes got a fuckin Pepsi tattoo or some shit. And I HATE Pepsi. And the whole straight edge gimmick is just gay.... hey speaking of....

remember the beer bash at the end of the 15th Anniversary of Raw show? Yeah.... I happened to watch it.... and I remember seeing CM Punk out there, drinking beer.... straight edge? Drinking beer? Way to keep your gimmick going you stupid piece of shit. IRS and Repo Man shoulda kicked your ass for being a queer.

I hate you CM Punk, you no talent assbag. And I hate Pepsi.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Wrestlezone needs to learn them some Math Skills!

Ol Wrestlezone is at it again. This site is now known as the, WRESTLEZONE IS RETARDED LETS MAKE FUN OF THEM site.

Today, king knucklehead Ryan Clark reports....

“The Condemned” starring Steve Austin has done over $20.91 million in the video market which is more than triple what the film did in theaters.

“The Condemned” made just over 8 million dollars in theaters....

Lets see.... 8 X 3 = 24.

Meaning... there is no way The Condemned has made triple what id did in theaters.

Try again Ryan.