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Friday, September 28, 2007

Chris Jericho = Ratings

So I'm sitting here eating biscuits, and I'm reading all about this video that was shown on Raw that has a bunch of cryptic messages in it. God bless the internet, otherwise I wouldn’t know of such a video. I don’t watch the WWE anymore, you see. I stopped watching it whenever all of my old favourites started to drop out, and the new breed sprang up out of nowhere with the sole purpose of annoying my head. I don’t care who Randy Orton is. I root for Matt Hardy because he’s one of the few familiar names I see popping up in these wrestling related websites. I believe that I stopped watching the WWE sometime in 2003, because everything was strange and unusual. People were leaving, due to injury and the strange belief that acting in a film is the same as cutting an insulting promo about the Coach. Bring back the old names! Not in a bad, “one last run and then that’s me finished, oh alright then, a few more runs after that” kind of way. I mean in a spectacular, blow you out of your socks kind of way. That, unfortunately, didn’t look like it was going to happen for a long, long time.

Well, until these delightfully cryptic messages sprang up. Once people caught wind of a video that made no sense, it was a sure bet that some internet guys were going to pick it apart and find every single piece of cryptic crap they could find hidden within. And they really found a whole lot of info with this little video, all sorts of stupid, “at first glance this makes no sense!” kinds of messages. I mean, right off the top of your head, what does “cd_volume4_1.act” mean to you? That’s right, nothing. Or “SaveUs.222”? It doesn’t mean anything until somebody else analyses it, and then you go “Ohh! Yeah, I get it now.” I saw the Matrix style video myself (check it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E_GETL9oEw ) and probably like you've just done now (assuming you've clicked that link and watched the video) I thought "how interesting. " in a sarcastic manner. The WWE hasn’t managed to do anything to interest me in a long, long time, and a crappy old Matrix-style video didn’t do much to get me to pay attention.

So like it was expected, the people who read far too much into stuff decided to read far too much into the video, pausing it frame by frame, dissecting it carefully and drawing their own conclusions due to their careful observations and their “facts” that relate to the gibberish seen in the video. They came to the conclusion that this is a video hyping the return of Chris Jericho. Alright there WWE, you have my attention. Don’t fuck it up this time, yeah? Apparently “SaveUs.222” has to do with the fact that Jericho used to refer to himself as the saviour of the WWE, and the “222” section is apparently a Biblical reference. I cant remember what it said, but predictably it said something about Jericho. And the “cd_volume4_1.act” is about the 4th Volume of the WWE Music CD’s, where coincidentally Chris Jericho’s music is track number one. Again, God bless the internet for figuring all this stuff out so I don’t have to.

The point is, should all these clever little rumours be true, and then this is just the shot in the arm that the WWE needs. As amazing as you say John Cena and Randy Orton are, the appearance of Chris Jericho is much bigger than both of them, to me anyway. Chris Jericho is the perfect example of how the WWE can bugger up anybody. Chris Jericho was awesome. One of my favourite matches of all time has to be the classic "Benoit vs Jericho" ladder match at Royal Rumble 2001. Chris was clearly one of the most popular faces in 2001, I’d wager second only to the Rock. Once he turned heel, he gained so much heat, and won the title that he had craved for so long, and deservedly so. His title reign was excellent because it played him as a heel perfectly, stealing wins until he faced the one nemesis he could never beat: Triple H. And so, after he lost to the Game, began his downward spiral. After 2002, apparently he was still on the payroll of the WWE. APPARENTLY he didn’t take his hiatus until 2005. I didn’t even notice. He slid down the card so fast; it felt like his previous title reign meant nothing. Within the space of a few months he was chasing the Intercontinental championship again. Clearly the WWE didn’t value him as much as they should have.

Fast forward to 2007, where things are not exactly going well for the WWE. The Benoit tragedy threw many storylines out of the window, and the illegitimate son angle bombed after it was revealed it was the leprechaun. They need something huge to get people to care again, and Chris Jericho is that something huge. If Chris Jericho the second time is half as popular as he was the first time, then there is hope of seeing the heavyweight championship on somebody who isn’t called John Cena. Of course, this is the WWE we’re talking about, so while the possibility of a returning Chris Jericho is incredibly interesting, the thought of a mid card, floundering, nowhere to go, fodder to Triple H AGAIN 2008 Jericho does not sound very interesting at all. You’ve got a good thing here, WWE. Don’t make it the leprechaun again, for the love of Christ.

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